Winter Rain, part 2

I recognize his footsteps as he enters the café—hard, confident . . . thirsty for a fight. I’m glad of the warning. I wipe my eyes hastily and try to pull myself together.

He steps past me and drops down into the empty chair. Her chair, until a few minutes ago. I wonder if her warmth still lingers there. It angers me that he can steal even that.

“Is it done?” he asks. But it’s not a question.

“It’s done,” I mutter, and my jaw tightens. I stare him down.

He chuckles. “Your brother will be very pleased.”

“My brother can go fuck himself, for all I care.”

I know what’s coming—I knew it was a ledge before I stepped onto it. But, still, I’m surprised at just how quickly he is across the table, his hand tightening on my throat.

Up close, his breath is unpleasantly warm—it smells of fresh cinnamon and spiced meat, but underneath, there’s something older, fouler—something like decaying blood. He shifts more of his weight onto my neck as he leans in. Pressure begins to build behind my eyes. “You would do well to have more respect for your elders, cousin,” he whispers into my ear. I can hear the smile, the widening eyes. “A tongue like that can get you killed.”

He tightens his hand down a little more—slowly, carefully . . . rapturously. And a little part of me wishes he’d do it, too. For what I did to her. For what I let them do to me, too. And it’s not an empty threat.

But neither is it imminent. If he had permission to kill me, he’d have found an excuse to do it already.

“You are attracting attention, cousin,” I manage to gurgle out.

He looks around and releases me—reluctantly—and lowers himself back into his chair. He flashes his smile at the other patrons. Just a little rough-housing between friends, he says with his shrug. Everyone is reassured.

It’s for the best. He might have killed them all, just for the fun of being chased by the police.

11 Responses to “Winter Rain, part 2”

  1. srsuleski says:

    Intense!  I really liked this scene, it’s leaves me full of questions about who, what, why . . . I hope you will keep on a roll. :)

  2. Yay!  I’m also fairly happy with it.  I especially like this unplanned, no editing thing.  We’ll see how long I can keep it going.

    Of course, if it does go on much longer, I’ll have to come up with a title for it.  :-)

  3. Drew Daniels says:

    I really like it thus far. To the point that even though I knew there were only two parts of it, I still found myself dissapointed that there wasn’t a “Next” button.

    I really dig the style too, though I will admit it throws me off. I’m not used to reading in the current tense, with the descriptions seeming to come straight out of an inner monologue.

    I wish I could help with a Title for it, but thats usually something that simply smacks an author upside the head without warning.

    But I digress . . . Well done sir, I look forward to the next installment. RSSes

  4. Thanks Drew — you’ve made me very happy.  :-)   Yeah, I’ve come to love first person, present tense, over the last few years.  Takes a bit of getting used to, but it has this wonderful immediacy to it.  Makes everything feel important.  Still, it’s really easy to screw it up.  I trust you’ll tell me if I do.

  5. Sara says:

    Ah, I see they’re in a cafe.  I like his thoughts under threat — the analysis of what this antagonist can get away with.  I’m getting some sort of take on the situation.  This episode is lively, interesting me to read more.

  6. Miladysa says:

    “I can hear the smile” – LOVE it!

    I like what I have read so far.

  7. Sandra Fowke says:

    Alright so I’m hooked and I want to read this all in one go but I can’t lol.  Damned real life, anyway i love this second installment.

    The Line: “He tightens his hand down a little more—slowly, carefully . . . rapturously.”
    Beautiful and perfect in the what it’s trying to say.

  8. Cool.  Well, the good news is the site will be here tomorrow, hackers allowing.  :-)

  9. Ian says:

    I’m surprised at how quickly he comes across the table too. I feel it would be better if you took more time to build up to that.

  10. Daniel Bensen says:

    I’m going to guess . . . vampires?

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